Marriage Guidelines

Parish Guidelines

Congratulations!
Becoming engaged is a big step! All of us who work with you during the marriage preparation process are eager to help you during the coming months. We know that planning a wedding can be a very hectic time for you. It is also a time that you will learn a great deal about one another and your families. You may be wondering where to begin. Before you check out possible dates/times for reception facilities, it is important to see if the church building is available.
Give us a Call
If you are a registered parishioner, call Paula Nowicki, assistant to Fr. Keehan (847-359-0042), to see if the date and time that you want is available. Because of the number of weddings that we have, it is wise to do this at least one year before the desired date. If you have questions regarding the laws of the Catholic Church, please contact Mary Whiteside, Associate Director, Marriage Ministry at 847-359-0042.
Participation and Registration
In order for a wedding date and time to be reserved, the bride, groom, or their family ought to be registered at Holy Family and be a weekly participant at mass. People wishing to join the community must attend the Welcoming Process before they are considered registered.
*can we add a link here to the information on upcoming Welcoming sessions?
Marriage Preparation Continuum
9 months – 1 year prior to wedding date – FOCCUS Pre-Marital Inventory (taken on-line), Engaged Orientation and blessing for engaged couples during mass.
6 months-1 year prior to wedding date – Marriage Preparation Sessions, held in a Sponsor Couple home, with small groups of engaged couples. There are five sessions to complete the program and they are scheduled according to the needs of each group.
6 months prior to wedding date – Intial interview with Presider and Pre-Nuptial Questionnaire.
1-2 months prior to wedding date – Second meeting with Presider to finalize Wedding Liturgy
Week of Wedding – Wedding Rehearsal
Wedding Music Faire – Engaged couples can choose their wedding music and musicians/instrumentalists at this event, held several times per year. Vocalists and instrumentalists will be there to perform some of the songs that may be chosen for weddings and the wedding liturgy will be discussed. This is a wonderful evening to plan your liturgy and personalize your wedding day. Contact the Worship Office (847-359-0042) for upcoming dates.
Reconciliation Service for Engaged Couples – During Advent and Lent, our engaged couples come together for an evening of Reconciliation. The service is designed to help engaged couples understand the value of forgiveness in marriage and it is an important part of our Marriage Preparation program. The evening is concluded with a wine and cheese reception and a celebration of a new beginning.
Marriage Preparation Checklist
Reservation of your wedding date and payment of your wedding fees

$500 for parishioners
$800 for non-parishioners

All fees are non-refundable and must be paid before a wedding date can be confirmed.
If you are not getting married at Holy Family, but would like to benefit from our Marriage Preparation Program, you are welcome to join us. In that case the fee would be $150 for the Marriage Prep/Administrative fees only.

Biographical form (completed at Orientation)
Newly issued Baptismal Certificate (must be dated within 6 months of wedding date)
Confirmation Certificates
Wedding Liturgy and Music Outline
Marriage License purchased in COOK COUNTY

Bring to Wedding Rehearsal

Cook County Marriage License
Music Fee (all musicians and vocalists have private contracts and are not included in wedding fees)
Wedding Liturgy and Music Outline
Optional: Unity Wedding Candles and tapers with holders – clearly labeled with your name
Optional: Worship Aids for your wedding guests

Marriage Preparation Process
Secure wedding date by contacting Paula Nowicki at the parish office 847-359-0042
Payment of fees (Make checks payable to Holy Family and return them to the parish office to the attention of Paula Nowicki).
After payment of fees, engaged couples will receive confirmation of wedding date and invitation to the Engaged Orientation.
Attend Marriage Preparation Orientation and Blessing for Engaged Couples - offered three times per year – February, June, and October.
Unitas Program – Unitas is the Marriage Preparation program used at Holy Family to prepare engaged couples for the Sacrament of Marriage. Engaged couples meet in small groups in Sponsor Couple homes for five sessions which last approximately two hours each. The topics covered in the sessions are:

Theology of Marriage and Spirituality – Catholic teaching on the Sacrament of Marriage and an exploration of where each person is in their spiritual life. Where is God in your life right now?
Communication - skills for communication in marriage and conflict resolution, forgiveness and reconciliation in marriage.
Individual and Family of Origin – exploration of the strengths and weaknesses each partner brings to the marriage, and how the family of origin helped shape who each person is today
Values in Marriage – Discovering the role of “conscience” in our decision making and discussion about how we live out our values as a couple. What would your marriage mission statement be?
Intimacy and Sexuality – Exploration of beliefs and attitudes about sexuality and development of intimacy over time in marriage.
Balancing Practical Issues – Discussion about priorities in marriage and how to balance work and married life, financial issues, career and children.

Meetings with the Presider – Contact Paula Nowicki at the parish office (847) 359-0042 to schedule two meetings with your Presider. You must both be present for these meetings.

The first meeting – schedule approximately 6 months prior to your wedding date. At this meeting, the Presider will complete an official church document with you called a pre-nuptial questionnaire. Each of you will fill this out in the presence of a priest and swear that your answers are truthful. It is the official record of your wedding in this Church. The purpose of the document is to discern if there are any reasons that you are not able to enter into a sacramental marriage in the eyes of the Catholic Church. In inter-faith marriage, the couple should have serious, ongoing discussion regarding the faith of future children. When doing the pre-nuptial questionnaire, the Catholic party will be asked to sign a waiver or give verbal consent promising to do all in one’s power to pass on his or her faith to their children, have them baptized in the Church and raised in Catholic practices.
The second meeting – This should take place approximately 1-2 months before your wedding date. The purpose of this meeting is to finalize your wedding liturgy.

Previous Marriages – If one of you has been married before, you may be required to obtain a Church annulment. The Catholic Church recognizes the marriages of non-Catholics as valid. If your fiancé is not a Catholic, their previous marriage in another church or even a simple court ceremony may require a Catholic Church annulment or a declaration of nullity. To determine the validity of a previous marriage, call the Pastor’s office. If an annulment is needed, you will be asked to make an appointment with the pastor to begin the annulment process. The granting of annulments generally takes at least one year in this Archdiocese. Holy Family’s Annulment Support Ministry will be available to answer any questions you have about the process and will support you through the annulment process.
Wedding Time Slots
Friday - 5:00 p.m.
Saturday – 10:30 a.m., 12:30 p.m., or 2:30 p.m.
Sunday – 2:30 p.m. (No Sunday weddings from Labor Day through mid-May
Wedding Rehearsals – Wedding Rehearsals are conducted by members of our Wedding Rehearsal Ministry and are assigned when you book your wedding. The scheduled times for rehearsals are:
Wednesday – 6:00 p.m. (for a Friday wedding)
Thursday – 5:45 p.m. (for a Saturday 12:30 wedding)
Friday – 6:30 p.m. (for a Saturday 2:30 wedding)
Friday – 7:30 p.m. (for a Saturday 10:30 a.m. wedding or a Sunday 2:30 wedding)
Choosing Cultural Traditions
Many cultural traditions have developed over the years. It is important that you choose what makes sense to you and what is reflective of you as a couple. Begin by understanding what the tradition means and how it developed. The wedding manual given to each registered engaged couple provides additional detail on traditions permitted at Holy Family.
Bride’s Room
A bride’s room is available for use on your wedding day. It is located down the hallway from the Chapel.
Audio – Visual Support
Many weddings have technical support needs, requiring you to have a trained technician in the audio/visual loft during your wedding. This support is performed under the direction of the Communications Director and is of benefit to you, as it will help ensure there are no audio-visual production problems on your special day. The $60 fee for this service is included in your wedding fees.
Video Guidelines and Procedures
Anyone videotaping the ceremony, whether they be a videographer that you hire or a family friend, is not permitted to enter the audio/visual loft or place a camera in the loft without a Holy Family Audio Visual technician on hand. All outside videographers should coordinate with the A/V technician, should he or she wish to place a camera on the loft.
All videographers are responsible for bringing their own cameras and equipment, such as batteries, connections, adapters, and videocassettes. There is a designated position for the placement of a camera in church. This place is to the left of the choir area and right of the sanctuary. If you have questions about the audio-visual portion of your wedding, please contact the Communications office at 847-359-0042.
Photos At Your Wedding
This day of celebration is so very important in your lives, and you will undoubtedly want pictures of your church ceremony. Holy Family has set up some guidelines that allow you to have those special pictures while still maintaining the sacredness of your ceremony.
Anyone taking pictures during the ceremony, whether they be a photographer hired by you or a relative or friend, must exercise discretion and respect at all times. During the ceremony, no photographer is allowed in the sanctuary area (on or above the steps across the front of the church). Instruct photographers to stay to the side of the altar area. Please also instruct your photographer to refrain from: stopping the bridal party walking in or out of the church, using spotlights, or running to capture a shot. Many times, another wedding or event at Holy Family will immediately follow your wedding. For this reason, we ask that you quickly organize your group for post-ceremony pictures, and suggest that your receiving line take place at your reception rather than at the church. This will allow you the time you need for pictures without interruption from the next event at Holy Family.
It is important that you convey these guidelines to your photographer and or videographer. They are intended to make your wedding a spiritual, joyful, and memorable occasion, while still allowing you to get beautiful pictures of your day!
Documents
The following documents are required from those planning to marry in the Catholic Church. Numbers 1 and 2 should be mailed to the Pastor’s Executive Assistant approximately four months before your wedding day.

Baptismal Certificate:

Catholics: Six months before your wedding date, please request a newly issued baptismal certificate from the church in which you were baptized. To obtain a newly issued baptismal certificate, call or write the parishes at which each of you received this sacrament and ask them to mail it to you.
Non-Catholics: The original or a copy of the baptismal certificate from the church in which you were baptized is required. It does not need to be newly issued. We will make a copy of it for our records and return it to you.

Confirmation Certificate – This can be a copy of your original certificate. If you do not have verification of Confirmation, contact the church where you were confirmed and request a new certificate.
Civil Marriage License – A Civil Marriage License can be obtained at the locations listed below.

Cook County Building, 2121 Euclid Room 238, Arlington Heights, IL
847-818-2000

Cook County Building, 118 N. Clark Street, Chicago, IL
312-443-5663
Skokie Court Building, 5600 Old Orchard, Skokie, IL
847-470-7500
The engaged couple must both be present when applying for a marriage license. The cost of the license is $35.00 (cash) and is valid for sixty days.
You should bring this document with you to your wedding rehearsal and give it to the rehearsal minister. The priest or deacon will sign the marriage license – no other signatures are required – and we will send it to the Vital Statistics Department.
You may obtain a copy of your marriage license in person or by sending a letter of request. The cost is $15.00 for the first copy and $4.00 for each additional copy. If you are writing a letter, include the following:

Names of bride and groom (include bride’s maiden name)
Church where you were married (Name, city, county)
Name of priest or deacon who married you
Address where the certificate can be sent
Check for proper amount made payable to “David Orr, County Clerk”
Be sure to enclose a return address
Mail the letter and check to:

David Orr, Cook County Clerk, Bureau of Vital Statistics, P.O. Box 642570, Chicago, IL 60664-2570
For more information, go to www.cookcountyclerk.com

Marriage Certificate
A Marriage Certificate will be presented to you by the priest after your wedding saying that you have been married at Holy Family Parish. This is not a legal document.
Liturgical Rite for Celebrating Marriage
As you prepare for your wedding celebration we encourage you to take a few moments to reflect on and remember that you are preparing for a very special and holy event. An event, as cannon law reminds us, that has been “raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament.”
We also encourage you to remember that the wedding celebration is to be a reflection of your life and love for each other; blest by Christ, and to be witness to the church of God’s love and fidelity to all of creation. Workbook pages in the manual you will receive at your orientation have been designed to help you better understand your wedding celebration, plan iti out, and help you make choices that will reflect your story as a couple. These pages will need to be filled out and brought to the second meeting with the presiding minister.
Mass
It is a long-standing tradition that the exchange of consent occur in the context of a mass. Although it is very appropriate to have a wedding mass, it is by no means obligatory. There are certain circumstances where a wedding ceremony would be preferable, especially when inter-religious weddings take place. A ceremony can highlight the harmony of the couples relationship rather than point out the differences in their religious beliefs or practices. Questions about whether to have a mass or ceremony can be directed to the presiding minister when you have your advance meeting with him. Please inform the presiding minister as soon as you decide if you are having a mass or ceremony.

Wedding Music Repertoire

These songs are not exclusive to the categories - many can be used in other areas. (I) denotes an instrumental.

Prelude

About Strange Lands and People (I)
After All
Air (Watermusic) (I)
All Good Gifts
All I Ask of You (Phantom)
All of Our Lives
All Things Bright and Beautiful
And on This Day
Author of Love
By My Side
Canon in D (I)
Canticle of the Bride
Canticle of the Sun
Cherish the Treasure
Come and Journey With Me
Companions On the Journey
Covenant Hymn
Cristofori’s Dream (I)
Doubly Good to You
El Shaddai
Enough For Me
Evergreen
Father’s Eyes
Flesh of My Flesh
Gift of Love, The
God, A Woman and a Man
Hallowed Be Thy Name
He Has Chosen You For Me
He Is Exalted
Here We Are Now
Holy Ground
Hornpipe (Watermusic) (I)
Household of Faith
How Beautiful
How Good It Is
How Majestic Is Your Name
Hymne (I)
Ice Castles, Theme from (I)
I Believe
In His Time
Irish Blessing, Old
I Will Be Here
I Wish You Jesus
Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring (I)
Longer
Lord of the Dance
Love Changes Everything
Love of the Lasting Kind
Love Will Be Our Home
Mighty Is Our God
More Precious Than Silver
Morning Has Broken
My Treasure
My Tribute
Nightfall (I)
Nobody Loves Me Like You Do
Nothing Without Love
Ode (I)
Only God Could Love You More
Our Love in Christ
Panis Angelicus (I) or sung
Parent’s Prayer
Perhaps Love
(The) Rose
Sabbath Prayer (Fiddler)
Sheep May Safely Graze (I)
Somewhere (West Side Story)
Somewhere in the World
Somewhere Out There
So They May Marry
Sunrise, Sunset (Fiddler)
Surely the Presence of the Lord
Symphony in D Minor (I)
Symphony of Love
This is the Day
‘Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus
Together
True Friend
Wedding Prayer
Wedding Processional (I)
Wedding Song, The (Kenny G) (I)
Wedding Song (There is Love)
Where Dreams Are Born (I)
Wherever You Go
Wind Beneath My Wings
You Have Been Good
You’ll Never Walk Alone

Bridesmaids

Air (Watermusic)
Canon in D
Cristofori’s Dream
Hymn to Joy (Ode to Joy)
Hymn
Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring
Processional
Trumpet Tune
Trumpet Voluntary
Where Dreams Are Born

Bride's Processional

Beginning Today sung
Bridal March (Traditional)
Canon in D
Canticle of the Bride sung
Canticle of the Sun - Haugen sung
Hornpipe (Watermusic)
Hymn to Joy/Ode to Joy
Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring
Prince of Denmark’s March
Rondeau
This Is the Day - Brown sung
Trumpet Tune
Trumpet Voluntary
Wedding Processional (S.O.M.)

Responsorial Psalm

All the Ends of the Earth Ps. 98
Blest Are Those Ps. 128
Every Morning in Your Eyes Ps. 33
Forever I Will Sing Ps. 89
Happy Are They Ps. 84
I Have Loved You Ps. 24:3
I Lift Up My Soul Ps. 25
I Will Praise Your Name Ps. 145
Let All the Earth Ps. 66
Lord Let Us See Your Kindness Ps. 85
Lord Send Out Your Spirit Ps. 104
Lord You Have the Words Ps. 19
On Eagle’s Wings Ps. 91
Path of Life Ps. 16
Psalm 40
Proclaim to All the Nations Ps. 96
This is the Day - Fife Ps. 95/96
This is the Day - Joncas
We Praise You

Gospel Acclamation

Alleluia (Traditional)
Alleluia (Hurd)
Alleluia (Chanted)
Celtic Alleluia
Lenten Gospel Acclamation

Unity Candle (Candle lighting)

All of Our Lives
And On This Day
Author of Love
Bridal Prayer
Cherish the Treasure
Doubly Good to You
Flesh of My Flesh
Gift of Love, The
He Has Chosen You For Me
Here We Are Now
Household of Faith
I Will Be Here
I Have Loved You
I Wish You Jesus
Like a Seal On Your Heart
Make Us One
My Treasure
One Hand, One Heart
Only God Could Love You More
So They May Marry
Symphony of Love
This is the Day (Brown)
Two Candles
Wedding Prayer
When Love is Found
Wherever You Go
You’ll Never Walk Alone

Presentation of Gifts

(Instrumental suggested-Time is very short)
All That We Have
Give Thanks
Holy Ground
Hymn (I)
Ode (I)
Surely the Presence of the Lord
Take, Lord, Receive
We Are Many Parts
Wedding Song, The (Kenny G) (I)